Chapter 0: For the Absolute Beginner

What Do I Need to Know About Being a Dungeon Master?

There’s no greater fear, than the fear of the unknown.

And fear can be paralyzing.

In Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) terms, Fear of the Unknown is a Challenge Rating (CR) 50 Monstrosity.

The unknown is a scary, ugly, and amorphous monstrosity. You’ve never met the unknown but you know it exists so you envision it bigger and badder than it really is. Inflating it in your mind so that you never want to face it alone, or at all. This idea of the unknown is common, but being reminded of this—like I’m doing right now—gets you one step closer to overcoming your fear of it.

The more you know about the origins of fear, the easier it is to overcome.

But where does fear come from? Where does it live? How does it surface? And where does it harness its power?

The part of your brain responsible for producing fear is your amygdala. It’s a paired structure, meaning you have two of them on either side of your brain hemispheres. Neuroscientists and other cognitive experts refer to them using the singular form of the word.

Your amygdala is a small almond-shaped area, about the size of a shelled peanut that sits vertically where your eyes are in your head¹ . It may be small but it plays a big role in your life and is important for your survival.

In fact, according to neuroscientist and psychiatrist, Nancy Andreasen, George Lucas named Queen Padmé Amidala after the amygdala, the “seed of fear in the brain.”

“Because fear is what eventually destroys Darth Vader.”

But, the amygdala isn’t just the seed of fear in your brain, it has other roles too, including:

• Aggression (the fight part of your flight or fight response)

• Learning from rewards and punishment

• Implicit memory (like tying your shoes or riding a bike)

• Social communication and interaction

• Emotions you connect to memories

At this point you may be asking, “Joe, why are you telling me all this stuff about fear, the brain, and making vague Star Wars references in a book that’s supposed to be about how to be a Dungeon Master?”

Great question.

The simple answer is connection. I want you to see connection that you may have never thought of before. I want you to start seeing the world as an open book. A sandbox of discovery. Discovery of the unknown and a way to bring real adventure to your life.

This book may be about gaming, and life is a game.

It has rules. It has winners and losers. It’s full of challenges, obstacles, and puzzles to solve.

This book isn’t any old book. This book is a doorway into a life of intrigue, adventure, and challenge. By the end of this book you will know more about yourself and the world you ever thought possible.

In fact, this book works very similar to how my ADHD brain works. The pathway will seem obvious and linear at first, but the road is riddled with rabbit holes that will temporary teleport you away into the unknown where you’ll need to explore, analyze, and gather resources as you make the journey to the end.

(Joe, you need a transition here) RAW NOTES! 😱

Your mind can play tricks on you. For example, have you ever gone to a party that you didn’t want to attend (but had to) because of a family commitment or some other personal and important obligation? And, have you ever convinced yourself that you weren’t, under any circumstances, going to have fun because you decided it beforehand? BUT, you ended up having the best time of your life when you actually experienced it? Yeah, well welcome to the club. This is something I call “awakened from stupid stubbornness.” It’s a curse and it’s common.

NOTE: Create “Awakened From Stupid Stubbornness” as a spell that a Wizard can cast.

Many people fail to try new things, not because the new things aren’t exciting enough or could be a waste of time. It’s because learning new things can be uncomfortable. And this aversion will make many people less adventurous so they stick to what they already know. They maintain the status quo.

But some may regret not pursuing their dreams and lament the fact that they’ve missed a great opportunity and now it’s too late to start.

All of that may seem true in the moment, but I’ll tell you right now, it’s never too late to start something new. Especially being a dungeon master.

Where to start

If you’re new to table top role-playing games, or new to being a game master, this first chapter is for you.

Like any new topic there’s a lot to learn so it can seem like a daunting task to know where to start and you probably have many questions:

• Which book do I read first?

• Who should I consult?

• Should I just watch YouTube tutorials and cross my fingers that they’re not all fluff?

UGH!

The frustration you feel is real, but trust me, you’re not alone. I felt the same way too, many years ago. And this book contains the collected wisdom of what I’ve learned over the years. It contains my successes, my failures, my pains, my doubts, my fears. Everything.

New experiences can be daunting from the start and becoming a dungeon master is no different. There’s a lot to learn and can seem like a learning a new language with its lexicon of terms, slang, acronyms, initialisms, Easter eggs, inside jokes, and memes that have grown naturally over time.

Roleplaying games are no different.

But fret no longer. I’m here to help. And help I will!

To get to the action I’ll define each term as I use them, that way you can read through sections quickly and you won’t have to stop and bounce around looking up new and odd words as they pop up in the glossary.

But they will be in the glossary, so you can reference them at any time.

At the end of this chapter you’ll find a list of all the games terms I’ve used in alphabetical order to help you keep track of what you’ve read.

The golden rule of being a dungeon master

If you learn one thing from this chapter, let it be this: Games are played for fun. And, as a DM, you play an important role in this regard, even if your players don’t know it.

Having fun is the number one golden rule of any successful gaming group and that means everyone should be having fun—including you! No exceptions.

Now that you know the number one rule of gaming and being a dungeon master is to have fun, you’re ready for the second rule: start small.

Like a baby who’s graduating from soft foods, take small bites.

No, I’m not comparing you to a baby, I’m making an analogy. And analogies are a great way to remember new concepts.

Also, I’m a writer and I like analogies.

You see, as a DM you have many responsibilities, which I’ll get to in a minute, but the one thing you don’t want to do is overwhelm yourself. That will slow you down, bring on a harsh case of imposter syndrome, and make you want to give up because you think it’s too hard. It’s not hard.

Let me set things straight, everything new can be hard. And saying you can’t or won’t do something because it’s hard is giving up before you start and this will only make it seem harder. You have to start something to see how hard it is, or if it’s even hard at all. The sense of dread and difficulty could all be in your mind. And it is because that’s where thoughts, ideas, and feelings come from. It’s likely way easier than you made it out to be, but if you make up your mind before you discover the reality, you may have created your own misdirected reality.

If you approach being a DM with an open and curious mind, I guarantee you’ll be a better, more inspiring DM than a majority of the DMs who have more experience than you.

And, if you add responsibility to your list of skills, you’ll be in the top 1%.

So, what are all these responsibilities you have to deal with? Well, sit down because the list is long.

Responsibilities of a Dungeon Master:

• A DM is a referee

• A DM is a judge

• A DM is a storyteller

• A DM is rule maker

• A DM is a rule breaker

• A DM is a rule interpreter

• A DM is a player

• A DM is a guide

• A DM is a world builder

• A DM is an overseer

• A DM is a person

• A DM is a voice actor

• A DM is a optimist

• A DM is a curator

• A DM is a narrator

• A DM is empathetic

• A DM is essential

• A DM is a leader

• A DM is an author

• A DM is inspiring

• A DM is a kitchen sink (edit this out)

• A DM is an improviser

• A DM is a calm, soothing presence

• A DM is a teacher

• A DM is a student

• A DM is a lot of things and I’m getting tired of typing

Whew, that’s long! Yeah, well here’s the kicker: that list is incomplete.

But I think you’re starting to get the reason to start small.

I mean you want to keep it simple. So, go at your own pace, and don’t forget, you’re supposed to be having fun.

Take it from me, being a DM is a unique and rewarding experience and you’ll learn a lot about yourself in the process of being one.

Look back at the list of DM responsibilities above. There aren’t many professions in the world that foster a list of skills and attributes that are as long as the DM list like that!

A DM truly is a one-of-a-kind “specialized generalist.”

We’ll get to the definition of that later. But, if you’re as curious as my cat Rio, feel free to jump to the glossary in the appendix and find out what it means.

My promise to you

I’ll conclude this chapter with a promise to you. A promise that I know I can keep. It’s this…

If you read this book in its entirety, I know that you will learn something about the world, and possibly learn something about yourself that you never knew before.

How do I know this? Because you don’t know everything and it’s not possible to know everything. This is a fact. And, it’s highly probable that you knew something in the past, that you’ve forgotten and don’t know now—either about yourself, the world, or both.

And, if you’re curious (and like to venture into rabbit holes), you’re going to learn more than you ever anticipated you could from a book on gaming.

Because this is no ordinary game book. It’s a manual to live by because you are the hero of your story and there are ideas and learnings in here that you’d never expect to find in a book on how to be a Dungeon Master for Dungeons & Dragons.

In fact, this book urges and prods you, not only to be the dungeon master and referee for your gaming group, but to also be the dungeon master of your life. Even if you don’t live in a dungeon, the world can be just as dark and foreboding. Let this book be your light in that unknown darkness.

[^1]: 1. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/24894-amygdala

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